Posts Tagged with Inspiration

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Never Fail In Silence

Society teaches us how to succeed. We hear countless success stories with “how to” insights to replicate these results. We know those who “made it” by name.  Success is associated with pride, respect and power.  Meanwhile, society provides less guidance on failure which is associated with shame, rejection and not being good enough.  As a result, when we fail, we remove ourselves from the spotlight, go into hiding and take our stories with us. We fail silently.

We don’t speak about or acknowledge our failure during the process. We feel oppressed by shame, judgement and our circumstance.  By not facing failure directly, we give it the power to hold us hostage.

I’ve experienced this and was confined by my feeling of failure.  I couldn’t find it in me to share what was going on.

I remember friends and family encouraging me to share, pointing out that we all go through situations and I didn’t have to figure everything out alone.  The invitation was extended but I didn’t have it in me to share at the time.

It wasn’t until after I got through and over everything that I gained clarity.

I noticed the opportunity you have while dealing with failure.  When you can rise above what is going on and decide to not be confined by your situation, you become empowered. You gain strength and confidence to take actions that influence your outcome.  You no longer have to stay where you are or in your current circumstance. Failure no longer has to define you or immobilize you.

There needs to be more attention to what I call “failing presently and actively.” By this, I mean being present to a failure while it is happening and actively addressing it to gain control of your perspective and influence the outcome.  This means not being paralyzed by shame or fear and welcoming the opportunity to be vulnerable and authentic.  Here are some specific ways you can do this:

There needs to be more attention to what I call “failing presently and actively.” By this, I mean being present to a failure while it is happening and actively addressing it to gain control of your perspective and influence the outcome.

Get introspective. It is OK to look within and understand what is going on. Self-awareness is important and slowing things down to put the pieces together can help you get there. However, don’t let this be your only way of handling your failure.  Overthinking can lead to doubt, blame and halt your progress toward a solution. Challenge old mindsets such as the need for perfection and don’t be a victim of paralysis by analysis.

Forgive yourself. This will give you your power back. It is easy to look at yourself when something goes wrong, but having someone to blame doesn’t change the situation.  It is especially paralyzing if you begin to see yourself and your situation as one.  You are not your mistakes or failures. Let yourself be free to identify the lessons and prepare to apply them forward.

Voice it. Speaking about a failure is one of the hardest things to do in the moment. You get embarrassed about your circumstance and reality, associate the failure with your worth, feel less than and worry about how others will perceive you. You walk around with a secret that you’re afraid others will find out about. However, expressing what is going on is helpful. It lifts the weight you carry around.  And it gives you the opportunity to speak about the situation as opposed to the meaning you associate with the situation.

Share your story. By sharing what is going on with you, you inspire others. You never know who may be going through the same thing, in silence. When you break your silence, you encourage others and provide hope. You show that you don’t have to remain ashamed or be defined by what happens to you. You can continue to live freely and authentically.

Connect with others. Going through the ups and downs in life are fundamentally human.  We all have these stories. When you highlight times that were challenging for you, you create opportunities to connect with others. Life isn’t only about the shiny highlights. You can gain strength and support from the lessons and perspectives of others. This has benefited me personally when I’ve shared experiences with friends, colleagues, strangers, and mentors who then shared their similar story. It automatically created a bond and deepened our relationship!

Embrace the opportunity to grow. Don’t be afraid to grow. If you are a high achiever, getting anything short of an A+ is difficult. But life is full of changes so the best thing you can do is get comfortable with imperfection and pivots. Use failure as a learning opportunity and a chance to grow. If failure is expected, you’ll benefit if you can learn and course-correct quickly to catapult to better results.

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How about you? How do you handle failure? Is it something you find challenging?  Do you address it head on? I’d love to hear your perspective below!

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Things to Do in Medellín In Three Days

I have so much of the world left to see, and I’m all about knocking down the list when I can.  So when a good friend, Nikki, mentioned her aunt was doing a Spanish immersion program for a month in Medellín, Colombia and invited another friend and I to visit, who was I to say no?!  We quickly finalized things, making remaining flights work. This was at a time when I was actively prioritizing people and experiences that were important to me, so the flight was booked and a plan was put in place to handle other things going on during my trip.

Arriving to Medellín

After my first flight, I spent a few hours at the airport in Miami before my friend Ana joined me for our flight to Medellín.  The flight was about three and half hours; and we arrived to José María Córdova International Airport (MDE) to rainfall, which was common for November.  First, I exchange some money for Colombian Pesos (COP) (approximately 3,000 COP for $1 USD). Next, after trying to locate our Uber driver on the first level of the airport, we realized there was a second level and found him waiting there. Uber is recommended for travel in Medellín. The initial challenge was trying to communicate with the Uber driver without cell service; and later, we learned that drivers mainly used landmarks as opposed to street addresses.

It was well after 9 PM, so we couldn’t see much, especially with the rain.  But driving from the airport and down into the valley, the lights lit up the mountainous landscape which made for a beautiful view. The drive into the city is about 45 minutes and costs about 50,000 COP. We arrived to our Airbnb, got settled, and our friend Nikki joined us later that night.

Day One

The next morning, we got a chance to admire our cute Airbnb! It had a modern design and decor, beautiful view, great location and enough space for all three of us.  The view out the bedroom window was filled with red brick buildings with red clay roof tiles.  It was a picturesque, all the way up the sides of the surrounding Andes Mountains.

Getting ready that morning was an adventure. We realized the water in the shower was ice cold.  So we reached out to our Airbnb host to learn we needed to turn on the water heater. Because the water quickly turned cold after a few minutes, we mastered taking the quickest showers!

Our Airbnb was right off of La Setenta (La 70) which is an area with numerous bars & nightclubs and is also known as the Salsa strip of Medellín. We walked around the neighborhood, Laureles, that morning with no set plan. We intentionally kept our itinerary open so we wouldn’t be tied to a schedule. We stumbled upon a small, neighborhood restaurant, Ricuras La Abuela, where we had breakfast. We had pasteles de pollo (Colombian fried chicken pies) with salsa picante (hot sauce).  These were delicious and held us over for the rest of our walk around Laureles.

We passed by Pontifical Bolivarian University, a private university in Colombia, which had a beautiful Catholic church on-site, a few neighborhood parks (including one with swings which I had to get on!) and perused about until we stopped at Naturalia Café where we waited for Nikki’s aunt Sandy to meet us after Spanish class.

In recent years, the government has made efforts to support innovation so Medellín attracts expatriates and entrepreneurs from around the world.  The climate, cost of living and accommodations support this as well.  We saw business meetings in progress, people working solo and a conference room in use at the café.  We had an afternoon snack of natural juices and pastries.

Once Sandy joined us, we explored Laureles some more then went to Patacones Food and Gallery for dinner.  There we had a variety of entrees on patacones (or tostones) made from green and ripe plantains.  These were really tasty!

After this, Nikki took us to The Charlee Hotel, which she had visited on a previous trip, and its Envy Rooftop Bar for a great view of the city and the sunset to wind down the day.  The hotel was in El Poblado, an upscale neighborhood with high-rise apartment buildings, restaurants, boutique shops, and lively nightlife. The rooftop didn’t disappoint with its nice ambiance, a rooftop pool and a spectacular panoramic view!

Day Two

We started the next day with a walk around the neighborhood, but in a different direction.  We stopped at another restaurant near the one from the prior day for breakfast. This time we had arepas, a traditional Colombian breakfast dish, prepared in a variety of ways with eggs, cheese, hot chocolate, and coffee.  Our hostess also provided us with fresh orange juice!  After this, we continued our walk, stumbling upon street art and more red brick buildings until we found our way to Segundo Parque de Laureles, a park, just as it started to rain.

We escaped to Freshii, a restaurant nearby with covered outdoor seating that prides itself on “fresh and nutritious meal choices that energize people on the go.” It was perfect.  Sandy joined us and we finished eating as the rain stopped. We then hopped in an Uber to head to El Poblado again.

This time we explored El Poblado more by foot, perusing the streets and checking out the boutiques.  We had dinner at Ay Caramba, a Mexican restaurant, and were amused when they provided gloves for us to eat our wings.  So practical!  This place had outdoor seating so we people watched and avoided another round of rain!

We stayed at Ay Caramba until after sunset then we continued to browse the neighborhood. Good music caught our attention which led us to stop at this restaurant with a  hostel attached.  I found a hammock in the colors of Colombia’s flag so I had to check it out! We had some smoothies there, relaxed and had some amusement when a kid passed by selling flowers. 

We eventually got an Uber back to our Airbnb and walked along La Setenta, picking up some souvenirs along the way.

Day Three

We headed down La Setenta / Carrera 70 the next morning for breakfast at a popular place, El Colmado. We had a combination of pastel de queso (cheese), pastel de guayaba (guava), croissants, etc. with coffee and tea. I personally enjoyed the Colombian coffee!

After this we walked down to the metro and got on the train at Estadio (Stadium) Station. We were headed to check out Medellín’s world-famous Metrocable cable cars.  At the turn of the century, the residents of the hillside barrios that sat above the city did not have a convenient way to get into town in the valley below.  Public transportation was infrequent and unreliable, the area was dangerous and access was limited to the labor market.  To address this, the first Metrocable cable car was built in Medellín in 2004.

We soared over the barrios on our way up the steep hills in the cable car. This was a great way to see how beautiful and expansive the city is!

The cable car went all the way up the top of the mountain and into Parque Arví, a park which is both an ecological nature preserve and Pre-Hispanic archeological site. There’s an outdoor food market next to the gondola station so we checked it out once we got to the top. We bought some souvenirs and even ran into some Wharton students there! This always happens; the Penn / Wharton network is so expansive! We tried local fruits, food and bought jewelry made from local stones.  It was noticeably cooler up there and often rainy but we were prepared with layers and umbrellas.  We checked out one of the trails but didn’t venture far into the park.

We took the cable car back into town eventually and got off at Estadio (Stadium) Station again. By this time, a football match was in session so the area was lively as people made their way into the nearby stadium.

Once we got back to our neighborhood, we went to Restaurante Mondongos to have some Colombian food for dinner.  We shared the Bandeja Paisa (Paisa Platter) which is a traditional Colombian dish. It came with it mondongo (tripe) soup, rice, beans, pork, ground beef, fried egg, plantains, avocado, potato, banana, fries and arepas.  It was enough food to satisfy all four of us!

We went to our Airbnb after to get ready to head to El Poblado for the evening. We took an Uber to Café Zorba, a pizza restaurant with a great atmosphere, where some of Sandy’s classmates joined us.

From there, we made our way to a bar with a ball pit. Ana and I took one for the team and tried it out! It was fun but also left us gasping for air!

At this point, there was a serious downpour outside.  As we wait out the rain, we met some other travelers from Germany and the UK. We eventually hopped in an Uber and made our way back to our Airbnb.

Day Four

After packing and getting a few hours of sleep, Ana and I were on our way to the airport.  We enjoyed the ride to the airport, taking in the views as we headed away from the valley and up into the mountains.  Just like that, our whirlwind Medellín trip had come to an end and we were headed back to the US!  Nikki left a few days after then Sandy finished up her last week of class.

Although it was brief, Medellín was beautiful.  People were friendly, the food was amazing, things were affordable and the city was lively.  I especially loved the mountains, vibrant colors and the red brick buildings. I’m looking forward to visiting again for an extended time!

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Do you have any trips that are on your list that you want to take? Have any of them been on your list for a while? What’s holding you back from taking them?  If you’ve taken a recent trip, how was it?

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16 Ways To Be Proactive And Make Any Year Your Best

In the spirit of professional and personal development, we aspire to add more to the foundation we’ve created.  How can we be better? How can we do more?  How can we have a greater impact? How can we make more time for ourselves?

I believe that taking the time upfront to create a plan and enact systems makes a huge difference.  If you’re looking for a new year of positive changes and you’re ready to take action, here are 16 steps that will help you get there:

1. Reflect. Set aside some quiet time to think. Remove yourself from all distractions and enjoy the stillness. Focus on yourself and your journey; in your mind, revisit how far you’ve come and imagine where you’re headed.

2. Set goals.  Whether they relate to travel plans, saving or professional development, goals give you something to look forward to and they ignite your spirit.  They require work and effort but they’re enjoyable as well.  At the end of the day, they’re yours and give you a sense of accomplishment because you picked them, committed to them, and followed through with earning them.  As humans, we aspire to have purpose and meaning in life; and goals are a manageable and tactile way to do this, one at a time.

3. Create a plan.  Forward-thinking businesses take a considerable amount of time to plan. This includes both long-term and short-term. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do the same.

4. Create a vision board.  They say that seeing is believing.  This is particularly relevant as you take your ideas and visions from abstract things in your head and give them form and shape that you can see.  If you can place them visually, then you’re more likely to create space for them in your future. Vision boards are helpful for this.

5. Create an advisory board.  Yes, this is for you! You’re important enough to have one!  We never have all the answers ourselves, and you need to know who to go to when you have questions.  Enlist a group of people who have been there, are vested in your success and who you can learn from.

6. Find an accountability partner.  You’re not alone on this road called life.  I know it feels that way sometimes but there’s a traffic jam of people trying to get somewhere too. You and your friends may be getting off at different exits, but there’s no reason why you can’t be there for each other when you need a jump start.  Your eyes are on the road ahead but check up on others who are dear to you periodically to see how they’re coming along in their lane and help ensure they’ll make their anticipated arrival time.

7. Create a budget.  A lot of people run from numbers. I like them because they always bring a story full circle.  They apply in your personal life based on the same principles that businesses use.  Do you need to increase your income? Or can you decrease your expenses? How is your net worth coming along?  Numbers help create flexibility in the non-financial aspects of your life.  If flexibility is important to you, start by creating a budget you will commit to.

8. Prioritize friends and family.  Our journey isn’t as much fun without people to share it with.  We are happy when we see our loved ones smiling and happy. Make time for them, travel to see them, call them, swap joyful and painful stories with them and make memories with them.  We create some of our most meaningful experiences and memories with friends and family.

9. Initiate conversations.  Make it a point to find out about the people at the bus stop, in the beloved middle seat on an airplane or at a networking event.  It is easy to forget a simple “How are you doing?” when you’re in a rush to get somewhere or with something pressing on your radar.  But some of my biggest life takeaways came from unexpected conversations with strangers.  When I was 16 and a volunteer at the library, I spoke with a woman and told her how I wished I had siblings. She told me all I needed to do was make good friends.  This advice holds true to this day as some of my best friends are like siblings; and in fact, I call them that.  I mention networking event because after business cards are exchanged and elevator speeches are given, it is the ability to relate to others on a fundamentally human level that sustains relationships.  This comes before the best business deals are made.

10. Keep learning.  Do you remember how caught up you were with each new toy you received as a child?  We like things that are new, exciting, shiny and challenge us.  I don’t remember the last time I read a reference manual.  I prefer the hand-on, experiential approach of learning-by-doing.  We live in an age where learning is fun because of all the information and tools available to us.  You can customize your delivery by form, time, method, origin, etc. with minimal effort.  This is exciting and facilitates continuous learning.

11. Find your niche.  It is highly rewarding and empowering when you can find a space in this world where you thrive.  A place where you have no fear of competition or anyone upstaging you because you’re at your peak performance there.  This is where your strengths, knowledge and passion align.  You’re leading the edge, and even if there are challenges and continuous effort involved, you’re motivated to go the extra distance.  When you find that space that you can call your own, you’re more likely to provide value, have an impact, and create a legacy.

12. Give back.  It is never too early to do this and there’s always some resource you can share with others.  What you give doesn’t have to be financial; it can be time, knowledge or a helping hand.  I’m sure someone went out of their way to help you at some point.  I know many did for me; and years after, I remember and acknowledge their selflessness.  Be the timely guiding light that someone else may be seeking.

13. Pursue your interests.  You may have something that you’ve always loved doing or maybe you’re open to trying something completely new.  Either way, participating in activities outside of your typical day help you bring new approaches and perspectives to your day-to-day activities.  It will it be personally rewarding and lead to you being more well-rounded.

14. Go places and see things.  Have you visited your local museums lately?  When will you take that trip you’ve been thinking about?  Our world is so eclectic that we can live completely different lives from someone ten minutes away but it is still small enough that we can experience the lives of those who are 2,000 miles away.  You learn a lot about yourself and appreciate how you fit in the big picture when you acquire additional perspectives to anchor your own.

15. Take risks.  When I’m in an art studio, I channel my inspiration in order to bring form to a blank canvas.  So with that same approach, I’m a big proponent of stretching yourself for development which means stepping out of your comfort zone.  If you’re risk averse, calculated risks may work best for you. Get a sense of what you’ll do, how you’ll do it and then do it.

16. Pivot and change.  When you take any “first step,” you never know how things will turn out.  Even when you’re headed in the “right” direction, circumstances change beyond your control.  What you can control is how you respond and what additional steps you take.  When necessary, make lateral moves, and even take steps backwards, to get further ahead.  Be open to making necessary changes along your journey.

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What about you? Have you tried a similar approach to achieve your goals or get certain results? How do you create an environment that facilitates your success? I’d love to hear from you below!

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A Reminder To Dare Mighty Things

We all need people around us who are genuinely interested in our growth and progress.  They give you props when you’re on the right track, let you know when you’re slacking and freely share the resources they have in their toolbox. At the end of the day, the relationship is mutually beneficial as you support and push each other to overcome obstacles and do bigger things.

One of my good friends since college serves as one of those people in my life. He has seen the whole journey since then – the good, the bad and the ugly. A month or two ago, he passed along a quote he thought I would like.  He was right – it resonated with me as I read it.  Although I appreciated it, I didn’t do anything else with it at the time. It remained where it was as a long text.

I try to pay attention when the universe seems to be telling me something.  A couple weeks ago, I met someone who had a favorite quote listed on Facebook that looked familiar.

A great statement…this ones for me….does it speak to you? #TheodoreRooseveltQuotes #textgram

A post shared by Leterrion D Smith (@leterrion_a_blessed_gentleman) on

I liked the quote a lot and tried to remember where I saw it before.  This led me to dig up the quote my friend had shared with me.  I realized what I saw on Facebook was an excerpt of the full quote.

I’m never certain about the universe’s messages but this one aligned with my recent thoughts.  At the beginning of the year, the speaker at an event I attended talked about being in the stands vs. being on the court and in the game of life.  Whatever you want to pursue, you get a different experience if you approach it by being in the crowd as a bystander versus rolling up your sleeves and running plays on the court. Being in the stands is safer – you don’t have to worry about failing, losing or falling on your face in front of others.  Being on the court is more risky –  there’s a chance you will be defeated and you’ll have to decide if you want to continue or not. Despite the downside, there is also the possibility that you’ll win and achieve your pursuits.

The possibility of that favorable outcome makes it all worth it. No risk, no reward right? I prefer to be on the court – in any of my pursuits and in life. Even if I fail, there will be lessons that I can apply forward so that next time, I fail better and faster. I’ll put all the lessons in play until I win the game.

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What about you? How are you going through life and approaching your pursuits? Are you in the stands? Or are you getting on the court?

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